20 Things I Learned From Tech Support

Beh, saranno anche vecchie e probabilmente note, ma non posso fare a meno di pubblicarle dopo averne letta una in un fortune nella firma di una mia email (create di volte in volta in automatico). Sono pezzi di verita’ 🙂 E quelle in neretto sono piu’ vere delle altre.

  • As long as the world turns, users will still have problems
  • Substance abusers and computer operators are the only folks called users. This isn’t by chance
  • When in doubt. Reboot
  • Sooner or later you will meet a person who types out the words ‘backslash’ or forgets to plug in the power cord. If you haven’t yet, just wait, you will
  • Fear the phone. No one just calls tech support to wish you good morning
  • No user will tell you the whole truth at the beginning of a call
  • ‘I didn’t do anything’ or ‘It just happened’ Are the users mantra
  • As a support tech, it is your job to break down resistance and get the truth
  • This is so you can rub the lie in their face, fixing the issue is just a perk
  • Some people will never learn
  • This means you will always have a job
  • Maintain a calm voice, even if you’re screaming on the inside
  • The hold button is your friend
  • Whatever you do, don’t panic
  • The answer to all users questions should be ‘Trust me, I know what I’m doing’ even if this is a bald-faced lie
  • Users can smell fear. Once you’ve lost control, all is lost
  • A user who is not listening to you anymore, but rather is trying ‘their own thing’ is not worth your time. Simulate a telephone disconnect and hang up. Trust me, you’re better off.
  • Sometimes fixing a computer is easier than figuring out why it was broken
  • Users always want a reason things are fixed. If you’re not sure just lie. They won’t know anyway. ‘A stray electron passed through the processor and caused…’
  • If possible ask to speak to the youngest person present
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